Idiot Wind Cabbage Rolls

I've had a weird day. It began with running a 10k, and then went on with grocery shopping, a nap, drawing a comic, eating some carrots, taking care of Dan and Claire's apartment, reading The Name of the Rose. The sort of day where, despite being fairly busy, I didn't really get much done.

I didn't eat that much, either; my main meal was the frozen yoghurt and hot fudge sundae I had directly after the race, and I only ate half of that. But despite that and the race, I wasn't very hungry. Also it was refrigerator clean out day chez Emily, which meant that finding a recipe which might use up some of the tail ends of vegetables I had lying around would be ideal.

Cabbage rolls are a German/Eastern European variation on an old idea echoed in nearly every culture: goi cuon, cha gio, 包子, 饺子, egg rolls, pot stickers, samosas, sambucas, dolmades, dolmadakia. Call them what you want, the idea is the same: take something and roll it up in something else, then eat it.

This recipe came from reading about 50 other recipes for various stuff, but it wasn't taken from anywhere in specific, so I'll claim credit for making it up.

Ingredients

• 1 large baking potato
• 3-4 baby carrots
• 3 mushrooms (Crimini or similar)
• 1 small onion
• 2-3 cloves garlic, minced
• oil
• bouillon + water, about 6 oz.
• 1/2 zucchini
• one head of cabbage (green)
  
• 1 T. margarine
• 2 T. milk
• 1/4 c. tomato sauce (from a bottle)
• a grating of parmesan cheese

Methodology

I have to admit, these are pretty labour-intensive.


1. Wash and cook the potato. I tried to boil it, but that takes forever, so to hell with that. Poke it full of holes and stick it in the microwave for 5 minutes.

2. Dice the onion, mushroom, carrots, and zucchini. Think small. Put some oil and garlic in a pan, when it sizzles, add the onion. After a few minutes add the carrot, then the mushroom and zucchini. Season with chili powder, paprika, basil, salt, pepper. Wait a few minutes until they start looking kind of dry (like the oil is used up) and add the bouillon powder and water. Cover the pan and walk away.

3. Wait, don't go too far! In a couple minutes, all the liquid will have cooked off, leaving you with cooked veg (very tasty). Turn the heat off.

4. Mash the potato in a bowl with the margarine and milk. You can peel it if you want, I guess. But why?

5. Mix the vegetables in and add more seasoning: cayenne pepper, chili powder, cinnamon, salt, pepper.

6. Take the cabbage and peel off the outer couple of leaves and discard them. Then take the next one and remove it gently, then cut off the rib as much as you can. You'll wind up with a pac man shape. Wash the leaf. Put about a quarter to a half cup of the potato mixture in it and roll it up like a spring roll - tuck the bottom, tuck in the sides, roll. This will take some finegaling to get right, but there is a definite way the cabbage wants to roll (it's sort of naturally bowl-shaped) so figure it out and go with it. If it rips, try putting another little piece of cabbage over the hole. You may want to stick a toothpick through it when you're done. And they may wind up kind of triangular - see photo.

7. Make these until you are out of the potato mixture. Squish them into a steamer basket and put them over some hot water in a wok with a lid. They will cook in about 5-10 minutes; watch to make sure you haven't accidentally turned on the wrong burner (oops) and that the wok hasn't run out of water.

8. Top with about 1/4 cup of tomato sauce and a garnish of parmesan. I suggest serving with a salad made from sauteed broccoli, mixed greens, and this awesome salad dressing.

Notes

*These take so long to make, but I wasn't that hungry. Also, they're really good for you, can easily be made vegan, and two of them plus tomato sauce will run you about 100 calories. What more could you ask for?

*They are super tasty.

*Seriously, don't do turn on the wrong burners. I think the teflon on that pot is ruined.

*Recipe makes about 9 cabbage rolls. Results may vary depending on the size of your potato etc.